Day 1 - No Turning Back

Three years ago I stuffed my life into a steel drum, poured gas on it and lit the match. I incinerated my career, my hope, my character and my spirit. I have struggled to make my mess into what I refer to as a "real life", to no avail.

Today is the beginning of my year - well actually not a year - 10 months.  I am making the pledge to have my new life as ready to go as I can make it by my 55th birthday - 55 - I cannot believe I am looking at that number and it relates to me.

At the moment I am finishing four straight days of Downton Abbey with no shower. I had been doing well, but got stuck again. Always the stuck that fucks me up.

I have been on all different meds and tried all different paths. I am currently working with a life coach which has been a great decision for me. I practice mindfulness meditation, and when I practice I do well - when I don't I do not.

Life feels like a constant struggle right now - a line of constant horrible days where there are no bright spots and no light at the end of the tunnel.

So here is my account of how I change my life in 10 months.........